Kinda Creepy


Creep-(noun): My college roommate… Why girls never came over.
Creep-(verb): a soft tissue reaction where as a displacement in amplitude or length of collagenous structures over a period of time when a force is applied… Why you’re shorter at the end of the day.

How often do you have to adjust the rear-view mirror on the drive home? Sure, Harford County roads are partially to blame, but by 5pm we’re all about 1-2% shorter.  Blame Darwin; we’re just animals adapting to our environment.

We start our day hunched over simple carbs and neuro-stimulants. Then off to be hunched over the steering wheel, keyboard, not so smart ‘smart’ phone, back to steering wheel  (stopping off somewhere for some extra-high inflammatory processed lunch from McSatan’s) then home again and back to the keyboard (but this time it’s okay because you’re reading this).

This causes a shortening and tightening of our anterior muscles: Rotator cuff/thoracic outlet and carpal tunnel syndromes & decreased oxygen consumption. And conversely a slow over-stretching and weakening of the posteriors: headache, neck pain, back pain & abnormal nerve activity.

That’s why for those of you we performed a Functional Capacity Examination on; we strive for a 1:1.14 flexor: extensor ratio. In other words, your back needs to be a little stronger than your front (except your knees, they’re backwards). So, in short, stretch the front and build up the back. Don’t know how? Try Google. But if you want the right answers, ask me.


Testimonials

I have been having severe pain since 2014. I’ve had a full battery of x-rays/MRI done to diagnose my condition…